Celebrate where you are

This time last year, around the end of April… May-ish. I was still grieving my dad. I mean that wound was still fresh. I had been laid off…again. I was back at my place, probably still sitting in the dark with the lights off and my phone on Do Not Disturb. My mom and aunt had come to visit me. They joined me for the Easter church service. I can’t remember exactly what the pastor was preaching about but it wasn’t Easter or how Jesus rose from the dead.

But I do remember him calling members to the altar and just laying down our burdens. So there I was, in my mint green dress and asking God to do what he said he was going to do. I cried quietly, prayed, and then went back to my seat.

I remember going home that day and just saying out loud…God, I’m tired. Why is it that I’m getting hit with loss, after loss, after loss? I’m like you said if I trust in you—and I believe in you and have this thing called faith, if I ask this mountain to move—it will move. I think I cried myself to sleep that night.

Then the next morning, less than 24 hours I got a call for one of the jobs I interviewed for, and guess what? They were extending an offer. And maybe 30 minutes after I got off the phone…yet another job called back, offering me a job. So, in less than 24 hours, two job offers.

Now, in the present day, I’m living in an answered prayer. I have a hard time living in the present because I’m either worried about the future or how I could change the past.

Instead of just celebrating that I was interviewing, or celebrating that I still have a living parent, or have an able body to get up and go to church physically, I let my defeat and worry carry this weight on my shoulders. 

But if you believe God will do exactly what he said he would do… you must celebrate that exact moment of where you are and just be!

Matthew 6:25-34